Yes. It is true! I am a recovering perfectionist. I didn’t know for a long time what was creating incredible discomfort inside of myself. It was shame. A sense of feeling defective, bad and wrong. The shame that fuels perfectionism is overwhelmingly stressful and toxic to our whole being. This stress creates havoc on all levels physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, relationally and spiritually. Shame tells us we are bad. Guilt tells us we have done something bad or wrong and we can make amends. Shame is destructive and pervasive in our homes, work environments, media and in our culture.
In order to begin healing from perfectionism we need to address shame. Shame thrives in judgment and secrecy. It is important to dissolve shame storms with the support of our friends. As we share our experiences of shame we begin to heal in the openness of allowing ourselves to be human. As human beings we all make mistakes and have many opportunities for growth and learning. We are all worthy of love and respect, gentleness and kindness. We are all challenged with life and various circumstances. Our human-ness is our common bond. We all suffer from shame. Shame and blame are conditioned patterns and ways of being inside ourselves and with others until we commit to healing the shame that binds us. Whenever we are coming from of place of against-ness it is usually within the energy field of shame. “You are doing it wrong.” “Who do you think you are?” “I’m right, you’re wrong.”etc.
Shame fuels depression, eating disorders, anxiety disorders, addictions, perfectionism, gambling, compulsive work and OCD. It is a pervasive feeling of not good enough. As a recovering perfectionist it is important to allow ourselves to make mistakes. We learn to be gentle with ourselves. We allow ourselves to be flawed, human and imperfect.
Everyday it is a practice of being honest, vulnerable and genuine. It is a courageous act to be vulnerable. It is also very rewarding. Vulnerability and authenticity creates connection. I encourage you to try vulnerability with those you feel safe. Take baby steps and tell the truth. Share your inner most experience with someone you trust. Shame dissipates when shared with others. Most importantly be compassionate with yourself and others. We are all doing our best. We do better when we know better.
Remember you are worthy of love no matter what. Love does not depend on being perfect. Love is your inherent birthright. Spiritually speaking you are LOVE. The Universal impulse is that of LOVE. You are LOVE.
If you are ready to move beyond shame into your AWESOMENESS go to jewelleagrant.as.me to schedule your complimentary breakthrough session so that you can live more fearlessly, aligned with your True Self, experiencing greater health, wealth and happiness. You will be glad you did!!
Jewel Lea Grant 