Connection, Inner Freedom, True Self

Using the mind in service to the heart!

I use to wake up most mornings with a mind full of thoughts that were worrisome in nature. “What if I don’t have enough money this month? What if I there is too long a line for the metro ticket? Should I just hire a taxi and pay the extra $20.00? What if they don’t call me into work again today? What if they hate my presentation?” And the list of chattering fear thoughts would go on and on.

Today, I am more aware of how to use my mind in service to my heart. For so long, I’ve allowed my mind to run a muck, then to make matters worse, I believed what my mind was telling me. No wonder I experienced stress, anxiety, depression and insomnia. My facilitators Dr. Ron and Dr. Mary Hulnick at University of Santa Monica would remind us that the mind is to be used in service to the heart. I guess I never really understood what they meant by that until recently.

Over the years, as I observe my thoughts and how fear based they are, I continue to commit to practicing neutral observation. The more I distance myself from living in the fear thoughts to observing the fear thoughts I am aware of greater ease in my body, mind and spirit. As I observe the mind and it’s various antics I am more aware of the place inside that is observing and witnessing the antics of the mind. From the place of observation I can let go of believing in the fear thoughts that are presented, as if these fear thoughts were reality, let alone sane.

Instead of engaging in the negative future fantasy, for yet another minute, I remembered I could instead engage in positive future fantasy. “I get to have time off to write on my thesis. I have plenty of money in my savings. I love my home and how beautiful and safe it is. I am so grateful for my health.” etc. When thinking these positive thoughts I am aware of my body relaxing and my emotions calming. I am aware of breathing more easily and exhaling with a sense of peace and faith that all is well. What’s ironic is that these positive thoughts are more truthful. These positive thoughts are in service to my heart.

In order to let your mind be in service to your heart, I recommend that you begin by observing your thoughts. Get familiar with just observing your thoughts as you go through your day. Recognize the content of your thoughts. Then begin to notice the observer or witness of your thoughts. Spend time with this place inside that is just noticing your thoughts. Get to know this place inside. The witness is a doorway into your heart and soul. As you become more in tune with the observer you will begin to tap into the essence of yourself as The Beloved. The I AM. The Presence of your Is-ness. The more we reside in the essence of our TRUE SELF the more joy, peace, love and bliss we experience. Life becomes easier. We are more in tune with the flow of Grace because we are Grace.

If you are interested in connecting to your True Self more consistently so that you can experience greater joy, peace, love and bliss, email me at or set up your complimentary breakthrough session at, TODAY! In the meantime notice the observer and allow yourself to experience the essence of your True Self. Namaste Beloved.

Authenticity, Compassion, Connection, Courage, Depression, goals, Inner Freedom, Perfectionism, Recovery, relationships, Shame, spiritual, True Self, Vulnerability

Recovering Perfectionist

Yes. It is true! I am a recovering perfectionist. I didn’t know for a long time what was creating incredible discomfort inside of myself. It was shame. A sense of feeling defective, bad and wrong. The shame that fuels perfectionism is overwhelmingly stressful and toxic to our whole being. This stress creates havoc on all levels physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, relationally and spiritually. Shame tells us we are bad. Guilt tells us we have done something bad or wrong and we can make amends. Shame is destructive and pervasive in our homes, work environments, media and in our culture.

In order to begin healing from perfectionism we need to address shame. Shame thrives in judgment and secrecy. It is important to dissolve shame storms with the support of our friends. As we share our experiences of shame we begin to heal in the openness of allowing ourselves to be human. As human beings we all make mistakes and have many opportunities for growth and learning. We are all worthy of love and respect, gentleness and kindness. We are all challenged with life and various circumstances. Our human-ness is our common bond. We all suffer from shame. Shame and blame are conditioned patterns and ways of being inside ourselves and with others until we commit to healing the shame that binds us. Whenever we are coming from of place of against-ness it is usually within the energy field of shame. “You are doing it wrong.” “Who do you think you are?” “I’m right, you’re wrong.”etc.

Shame fuels depression, eating disorders, anxiety disorders, addictions, perfectionism, gambling, compulsive work and OCD. It is a pervasive feeling of not good enough. As a recovering perfectionist it is important to allow ourselves to make mistakes. We learn to be gentle with ourselves. We allow ourselves to be flawed, human and imperfect.

Everyday it is a practice of being honest, vulnerable and genuine. It is a courageous act to be vulnerable. It is also very rewarding. Vulnerability and authenticity creates connection. I encourage you to try vulnerability with those you feel safe. Take baby steps and tell the truth. Share your inner most experience with someone you trust. Shame dissipates when shared with others. Most importantly be compassionate with yourself and others. We are all doing our best. We do better when we know better.

Remember you are worthy of love no matter what. Love does not depend on being perfect. Love is your inherent birthright. Spiritually speaking you are LOVE. The Universal impulse is that of LOVE. You are LOVE.

If you are ready to move beyond shame into your AWESOMENESS go to to schedule your complimentary breakthrough session so that you can live more fearlessly, aligned with your True Self, experiencing greater health, wealth and happiness. You will be glad you did!!